I’ve been waiting to write this post for three weeks. I am the worst at keeping surprises, mainly b/c I want to share in the awesome immediately. So when I had a secret Reagan photo shoot orchestrated for Rob for Father’s Day, I almost spilled the beans b/c I was so excited. Literally one time at breakfast, totally unprompted, I told Rob I couldn’t wait to tell him what I did for him for Father’s Day and wanted to know if he wanted me to just tell him right then.
Well, I’m glad I kept it a secret b/c last night, we had to go to the hospital for Reagan due to a low grade fever. I just thought to myself, “well, Father’s Day is ruined…why does it have to be like this? Especially for Rob.” I’m happy to say all the tests came back normal and we were discharged to go home.
Rob is the best Dad I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing and watching. He’s wanted to be a Dad his entire life…and this is hard. It’s really hard. Even still, Rob continues to take on the challenge, continues to love Reagan, care for her, feed her, help her, even when she’s pushing away, moving involuntarily, not able to hold herself up and an all around difficult child. Rob’s right there. He takes her to multiple therapy appts. a week, he’s at every single Dr. appt. and he completely shoulders parenting with me. Both of us are in the thick of it, up to our necks, together. I recognize that’s not always the case for families. Rob is the type of Father that Hallmark talks about. You could make a mushy Publix commercial about the love Rob has for his daughter and our family. Rob is a man and a father that I celebrate, daily, heck…hourly!
So my big Father’s Day present…well, my lovely friend Ashley of Dearly Photography came over one afternoon a few weeks ago and she got some amazing pictures of Reagan.
After Reagan’s metabolic crisis, I was so worried how she’d do when we took photos. We have so many awesome photos from another great photographer, Kristen Weaver, basically cataloguing Reagan’s first year. We would call her when a new milestone hit, so there were newborn photos, and photos at three months, photos at seven months when she was sitting up and starting to crawl, and the last photo shoot was when Reagan was starting to stand and walk assisted. With all of that lost, how would new photos go? How would they look? How would Reagan look? It’s so hard to get a photo of Reagan, anything that’s posted online has likely had 50 attempts behind it.
When I first received these photos from Ashley, I was breathless.
She captured Reagan completely.
One of my prayers has consistently been to love Reagan as God loves her, and for God to help me/us be the parents Reagan needs.
The thing that surprised me the most, was seeing things in Reagan that I didn’t know were there.
Not only was her outer beauty captured…but her inner beauty as well.
These photos allowed me to see more depth to Reagan, if that makes sense. They also helped me to start healing more. Just in these handful of photos, you can see a fun girl, a feisty girl, a tough girl, a loving girl…you see Reagan.
I am so thankful for the way Ashley was able to capture Reagan…And I’ve been obsessing over these photos for three weeks, looking at them during dark days, after cry sessions and keeping them all to myself to try and make it to this Father’s Day blog post and surprise for Rob.
Rob, happy Father’s Day. Reagan is so blessed to have you as her Daddy.