Jackson Hole, WY

If you haven’t read our last vacation re-cap, you can read it by clicking here. That was only three weeks ago, and I’m thinking it was our worst family vacation to date, but here we are facing all our fears again, and traveling even farther with Reagan. It’s amazing we were able to muster up excitement for another trip after our last one.

This time we brought Lauren, our first nanny, who has loved on our family for the last three years and traveled with us to California two years ago to see my family. Lauren is now a speech therapist and has amazing patience, and is loving and firm with Reagan. With her on this trip, surely Reagan will be a complete angel.

Unfortunately that theory was disproven on the plane, before we even left the ground.

I know many of you who read this blog know me well; but even if you don’t know me well, I think you probably know that I don’t hold back. This is especially true in confined airplanes when my child is acting up and I am on the receiving end of dirty looks, nods of disapproval and long stares. So when the woman in first class sitting caddy-corner to me gave a minimum of seven lengthy stares and head shakes at me, I said, “DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION?” I said it with the flight attendant standing in between us, who has obviously dealt with lots of different people, families, kids, disabilities, etc. She was un-phased. I said it loud enough for the rows in front and behind us to hear and staring someone in the eyeballs makes them uncomfortable, not me.

I was so upset. I have a screaming child, who’s pulling hair, trying to bite and I have to discipline her in a 3’ aisle with 150 people listening, watching and this lady, openly judging. We are doing our best, I promise you we are doing our best. I can’t always control my child because she’s her own human being, with her own feelings and emotions and personality. Did you know her name (Reagan Elle) means little king? And she really embodies that meaning, don’t you think?

For the duration of the flight, I had Bloody Mary’s, and had one too many. Our plane was an hour late to take off, they were screwing things on and off right by our row, and adding extra gas that they forgot was needed. Our connection was only 45 minutes to begin with, so we had all resigned ourselves to the fact that we’d miss our flight, we’d rent a car in Salt Lake and drive five hours to Jackson Hole. Rob even received an update from Delta that they re-booked us while we were in the air to a flight the next day at 11 a.m.

So many things out of our control. I had my mom and a few friends praying we would make our connection. In the air though, I thought it was an impossibility. I didn’t even pray it would happen.

But…when we landed at 8:01 p.m., and the flight attendant opened the doors at 8:07 p.m. and our flight was boarding one terminal over, we made a last minute decision that I would run and try to hold the plane. I never regretted that extra Bloody Mary (or two) more than in that moment.

As I ran off the plane I was asking the gate attendant who was running in front of me if she could help. She said yes and hopped in front of her computer, I told her, “We’re on flight 965, can you hold it?”

She said: “I can’t hold it. It’s boarding now; your best bet is to run.”

As I started running, I heard on the overhead speakers: “Final boarding for Delta flight 965. All passengers please proceed to gate F-3 now.”

I ran. I had so many bags. I had so much tomato juice and vodka in me. I don’t work out. And every time I had to walk, I felt like I was failing my family. I have to make it. Failure is NOT an option. I kept repeating to myself, ”You have to make it! YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT!

I saw the gate and I breathlessly and pathetically asked: “Did I make it? Can we get on this plane? I have to get on this plane and my child has special needs and I will die if we can’t get on this plane.”

The gate behind where you walk onto the gangway was closed. But was the plane door closed? It was not. A guy called from across the terminal, “Are you flying to Jackson Hole?”


And when I looked up, Lauren was running with all the rolling suitcases behind her. And then I saw Rob briskly walking with Reagan. Rob told me he ran with Reagan, carrying her all through the airport while she said, “I’m tired, Daddy. Daddy my legs are tired. Daddy, you’re tired.”

We made our flight. We sat down, buckled up and they pushed back. Our flight to Salt Lake was 34 minutes and I feel like that’s how long it took me to catch my breath.

Jackson Hole is beautiful. I am so thankful to have an extra set of hands here so we can try to enjoy ourselves — it helps so much. It allows Rob and I to reset, take a break, be a couple and then be better at parenting Reagan. Gosh, we need that so much. Having an extra person who knows Reagan and our family so well allows us margin.

Margin is so crucial in life, even more so with families who have children with special needs. And I think that is what bothered me so much about the mean looks from the lady on the plane. She has no idea. None. I typed up something on my phone that I wanted to write down and hand to her that gave an explanation as to what she was witnessing, which was only a snippet of our life. She has no idea that the fact that we go on vacation is a miracle in and of itself. I wanted to explain. I wanted to educate, but I didn’t. Instead, I tried to think of her as someone’s mom or grandmother who just doesn’t understand.

And Reagan calmed down and was a dream the rest of the flight, because we made the decision that Rob would sit next to her, in the middle seat. Rob was so uncomfortable and hot, but Reagan was perfect. And Lauren became our bartender.

This flight is one of our greatest memories and stories from a vacation ever. Every time we think about it we can’t stop laughing.

And it was still hard and it required pushing through a really horrible previous vacation and a rough take off, but this memory, it is one of my absolute favorites. It hasn’t been smooth this entire time, but is anything ever smooth and perfect? No. But I’m so glad to be here with Rob and Reagan and Lauren, and my California family.

Mountains are Rocky

Ok, so I know the last blog was about making it to the mountain top, and yes, the metaphors that go along with that and our life are poignant, but it dawned on me, that mountains still have rocky terrain. You’ve got the view and perspective of where you’ve been when you get to the top, but it’s not smooth walking.

That is life in general. It’s always an ebb and flow. There’s always an up and a down. Always emotional swings. Small humans have a wide range of emotional pendulum swings.

I mean look at these two photos.

This one says: “Holy COW! We’re on a gondola, in between mountain ranges! We’re at the top of mountain!”

And this one says, “I’m freaking tired of walking and I want to cry.”

You know, the conversations we had with Reagan on the mountain top were along the lines of you need to stop complaining.

Thank Heaven that God’s not like that with us. When we say: “But WHY do I have to go through this? This is hard. I don’t want to keep going. I quit.” God just sits there with us. He gently guides us through.

I lack gentleness in general. I’m all, “Get moving and stop it. We’re here to have FUN!” And Reagan tries her hardest to say CHEEEEEEEEEESE in all our photos with her entire body, or refuses to look at the camera all together.

Many of us are striving for “mountain top living” however our thoughts on what that looks like I believe are skewed. You’re not free from the struggles of every day life when you’re on the mountain top. Your location doesn’t alleviate you from having to do hard things. Everyday life still happens, the view is just different.

Across the World

Four years ago, if you told me that we’d travel to another country WITH Reagan, I’d say you’re crazy.

But here we are, on top of mountains, doing things we never even dreamed our family could partake in.

This trip is exceedingly, abundantly more, than we could have ever imagined. Guys, there’s snow, in JULY!

We’re in Whistler, Canada. We went through customs with Reagan. We flew almost 8 hours and drove 2 1/2 hours to get here. We took two gondola rides, on cables, above mountain tops to get here.

I’d like to point out, it’s not just any gondola ride. It’s the Peak to Peak. It’s the longest gondola ride, almost 2 miles, and the highest lift of it’s kind, with an elevation of 1,427 feet. It’s some sort of record. Which is ironic because I feel like we’ve broken a life record just to make it here.

As I looked across the horizon and over so many gorgeous mountain tops, I couldn’t help but think about how far away we are from what we’re used to, and how scary that can be if you’re a parent to a medically complex child.

I am SO proud of us.

Am I nervous? Yes!! I keep wondering how we’re going to help Reagan meet her food goal by winging it, especially on top of a mountain. Evidently Canada doesn’t want to forget their vegetarian friends because lo and behold, there was a veggie burger just waiting for us after our first gondola ride, in all of it’s quinoa glory. I was shocked.

Can I tell you an honest truth? If you’re in a tough spot in your life right now, I know and I understand, that you don’t think a mountain range is in your future. The climb might be arduous. No, it will be arduous, it’s a mountain top we’re talking about! But you can make it there, God will help you. And boy, when you do…it will it be exceedingly, abundantly more than you could have imagined.

We literally made it to the very top of a mountain with our daughter today. I’m amazed.