A single grain of wheat will never be more than a single grain of wheat unless it drops into the ground and dies. Because then it sprouts and produces a great harvest of wheat—all because one grain died.
I’ve been thinking on those words for a few days now and what they mean in our life. When Reagan had her crisis, it was like a grain in our life died. And that seed that dropped into the dirt was filled with our hopes, dreams and expectations, and it was buried deep, as deep as death is buried. And with it, all our aspirations for our family and even our lives, were put into that grave.
This is what loss feels like, or hardship or turmoil, or when you feel boxed in by a bad circumstance. But isn’t that what it’s like when we plant a seed for our garden? It’s boxed in with nowhere to go. The difference between being planted and being buried is perspective. The seed doesn’t know it’s being planted, from the seeds perspective, we buried it. It has to go really deep, it needs to be buried and it needs to stay underground for a while if it is to last and produce fruit or beautiful flowers, the roots need to establish themselves, and that can take time.
Maybe as someone watching, you’ve seen our tree limbs, but I’m telling you, we’ve been underground, for a while, our root system is deep and I feel like now is the time that we’re just starting to sprout. We’re sprouting fast and strong, in joy and splendor, like a tall oak tree, with limbs reaching far and wide and a tree growing tall and strong.
Our prayer has always been full restoration of Reagan. God says he hates robbery and wrongdoing, and I’ve been reminding him of that lately. And I’ve been standing strong on his promises declaring healing and blessings and double portions onto our life.
When I look back at what we have gone through, I know God was always working. Yes, he allowed something terrible to happen to Reagan and to our family…but he was also many steps and years ahead. Knowing that through her crisis, while we felt buried, he was planting something deep in our family. He had to grow our family’s root system and refine us, so that when we popped up for air, we were ready and strong. (By the way, did you know our last name, Wurzel, is German for root?).
Maybe you think we were sprouting a while ago, but for us, it feels like it’s just starting.
We have cried so many tears. But our tears weren’t in vain, we sowed them as seeds, meaning we gave them to God. God, you do something with this mess, with these tears and with all our despair.
And he has. And he continues to do so. He will never stop.
Here’s some shouts of glee:
Reagan is half way weaned off one of her medications.
While we’ve been teaching Reagan sign language, she’s shown more interest in using her words and has been talking A LOT more. Please pray for better clarity and pronunciation in her speaking.
Reagan is doing GREAT in Kindergarten.
She’s been talking that she wants her friends to come over and play, and even have a sleep over (what?!).
Our tears have sprouted into a harvest, one we could have never predicted. If you told me 4 1/2 years ago Reagan would be in regular Kindergarten I would have said you’re crazy, because 4 1/2 years ago, we were looking at medical daycares for her. Those tears were sown super deep, buried as deep as death. And now…we have a Kindergarten harvest and we are shouting with glee that we’re here. I know God isn’t done, and there’s so much more to come.