When we were in the hospital trying to wrap our minds around our new circumstances, my mom said something to me that I’ll never forget.
You bloom where you’re planted, Anne-Marie.
Wow. Thanks for the knowledge, Mom.
Our little family is currently planted in what appears to be this deep valley, that few footsteps have entered. There’s no trailhead with directions, we don’t know how the terrain is laid out. Every day we lick our finger, stick it in the air and go in the direction we feel is best. At least that’s what it feels like when you are totally trusting God with your every move. Every piece of mustered strength comes from above. There’s no mapping or planning, there’s just living at that very moment.
The thing I struggle with the most? Control and worry. I don’t have time to worry now and it’s clear that I am not in control.
Do Not Worry: Matthew 6:25-34
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
One of the Dr.’s made a comment to us and I wrote it down b/c I found it oddly appropriate at the time. He said, “You will live with uncertainty for her entire life.”
While we don’t know how anything will turn out, the ONE thing that is certain, is God is here, God is by our side, God is still providing. That is certain. While it’s scary living in what looks like an abandoned corner of the earth, it’s not abandoned. We just have to be more still, less consumed with worry, and then we will see God. He’s sitting by a stream, calm, welcoming and ready to equip us for the tasks of not just the day, the very moment.