The Quiet in Quarantine

When Reagan was born, we were told to never let her get sick due to her GA-1 diagnosis. Sometimes I feel like the entire world just gave birth to a medically fragile child.

Seven years ago, Rob and I become ultra aware of germs, being out in public, sanitizing, and protecting a baby with no built up immune system. All that striving and need to maintain control still didn’t yield our desired outcome. Reagan had a metabolic crisis, stroke, brain damage, all the most horrible things you could have a nightmare about was our reality.

God has taught me so much since then. He’s shown me how to decipher what is really important, what really matters. Now quarantine is forcing everyone to do that.

It’s so odd to me that even in a pandemic, we are piling more onto our plates, increasing our work loads, our children’s workloads, distracting ourselves, or diving so deep into the news that we become paralyzed. Is this an American thing? Can we not just be?

It took a long time, but I have learned no matter the season, no matter the struggle or triumph, only one thing matters and that’s where we stand with God. Don’t you think that God might be shaking up the entire earth to gain our attention?

Sports are canceled.
School is at home.
Work is at home.
Everyone is together.
People are stressed.
Jobs are gone.
Countries have shut down.
People are shutting down.

We almost lost Reagan completely, we still lost a lot. I could barely function. Everything felt meaningless, I did a lot of things to distract me from my new reality. My mind and my emotions were turbulent and the only thing that could ground me and help me was reading God’s word. Talking to God. Fighting with God. Wrestling. Breathing. Learning and realizing that God never makes mistakes.

A pandemic is hard, but if I could offer up what I’ve learned through my life’s own pandemonium here’s what I would say:

  1. Release the things you can’t control (this is a continual process).
  2. Get rid of things that don’t matter.

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.” – Philippians 3:8-10

This pandemic is a marker, an event that will live in the history of the world forever. And we are all experiencing it together. Because of the losses and grief we endured with Reagan’s crisis (and still endure as we enter new milestones and seasons) I have realized that anything we have gone through or will go through that hurts is WORTH it, due to the how much I now know Christ. I HAVE to spend time with Jesus every single morning to make it through the day. And now everyone has time, we’ve got time.

Can I be really honest with you? The Bible is filled with people who really don’t know what the hell they’re doing. They mess up all the time, they cheat, murder, lie, hide, steal, distract themselves with anything they can to not deal with God, and then try to cover it all up in lame human efforts. The people in the Bible are just like us.

James 5:17 says Elijah was a human being, even as we are. FREAKING ELIJAH! He never died and was taken up in a chariot of fire to Heaven. He’s just like us? Really? The rest of the verse says he prayed earnestly. Is that the only difference between the rest of us and Elijah?

Can you be still in this time and listen for what God is wanting to tell you? Can you wait and see what God wants to do? Do you believe that God still has a purpose in a pandemic?

We’ve been separated and sifted, we’re mostly doing life alone, and we’re not made to do life alone. Even now, there’s talk of slowly opening up our country, ahead of expert’s opinions. Are you rushing back into the grind? Are you afraid to go out? Who are you doing life with if you are mostly isolated? What is filling that void, is it God? How are you pandemic’ing?

REMEMBER

  1. Release the things you can’t control.
  2. Get rid of things that don’t matter.

Then, be still and and allow God to fight your battles. You will never regret getting to know God, or seeing his plan for your life, I promise. Through this pandemic, we can see how little we actually do control, and how little the things that used to matter actually matter. This pandemic is a perfect time to test whether God is who he says he is. It’s the perfect time to take 10 minutes a day and read a verse, download the Bible app, ask God to reveal what he’s trying to tell you or teach you. And don’t be afraid to tell him how you feel. He wants to talk to you.

In the moments of quiet I’ve had and spent with God, I have been amazed at his continuous revelations of knowledge, wisdom, grace and peace that surpasses anything this pandemic has brought or can bring. I hope this is encouraging to you and challenging. If you want to take me up on this challenge, tag me on IG with the hashtag #10withGodchallenge so I can continue encouraging you.

Quarantine well my friends.

xoxo
Anne-Marie

The Message the FL Dept. of Education is Sending Right Now

It’s the end of week one of “distance learning” which I, along with many other families have learned, appears to be full-time public school at home.

A friend of mine alerted me to this article in the Orlando Sentinel where Florida’s current Department of Education commissioner praised Florida schools for their “quick move to online learning.”

One thing I’d like to point out which maybe my open letter failed to clearly convey, and that is that I think our teachers and our schools are AMAZING. Teachers had two weeks max to get curriculum online, learn new platforms, systems and basically figure it out as best as possible. In going this direction, the Florida Department of Education has in one motion devalued our teachers, sending the message that anyone can teach, all you need to do is put the curriculum online and surely everyone can figure out a brand new profession at home, for grades, while working from home (or searching for a new job from home) full time.

The open letter has garnered a lot of attention, and within 24 hours of hitting publish was featured on Fox35 Orlando.

Parents resonate. And that’s because what we are being asked to do is impossible. If you need permission to push back, let me tell you that it’s OK to push back. This is too much on parents, students, teachers, administrators, everyone.

I could truly kiss the teachers who have been bold enough to comment on my open letter or who have messaged me privately.

One “hero teacher” commented: “As teacher, I completely agree with you! But please also know that I am being lectured to about the “optics” of closing schools. We are told that the communities will not tolerate paying teachers to do nothing. So, to justify my pay and my value, I am assigning work…and it breaks my heart. What these kids need right now is not online assignments. Unfortunately, in education, no one listens to teachers.”

The teachers are stuck. They are stuck between an employer who is devaluing them, pleasing the parents, and doing their best to provide education.

Florida Virtual School (FLVS) took years developing their own online curriculum, accrediting it, testing it, training teachers for online learning, then making those teachers shadow veteran online instructors before putting them to work. Combine that with the fact that the teachers, nor the parents of Florida Public Schools have signed up for online learning.

The public school curriculum in its current form has been pushed to the Internet and that’s what has been delivered. That point can not be argued.

In speaking with a FLVS teacher, she stated: “We have curriculum specialists whose only job is developing the curriculum for the courses. It’s built specific to the virtual learner. Our state schools have had no opportunity to do that.”

I’ve spoken to families in Duval County, Brevard County, Orange County, Seminole County and Palm Beach County and almost everyone, with the exception of a few families and several trained teachers who are teaching their own children at home, are completely overwhelmed.

One family I spoke with is having to print and upload documents for their school aged children, luckily they have those capabilities at home, not all do. Other families I spoke to have a range of assignments. I’ve heard from families with children in elementary school close in age to my child with two assignments per day, others have nine assignments per day. Some middle schoolers have close to six hours of assignments and are working until 8 p.m. at night and still aren’t finished. Another child (seven years old) is in tears every day with the pressure she feels. If education is supposed to provide a saving grace of normalcy for our kids it is missing the mark. One mom told me, “If this is going to work, we all need to be on the same page.”

Let’s put the cards on the table, the “optics” aren’t working. It’s clear there is not a leadership and direction from the top. Administrators and teachers have been thrust into this environment without guidance. Parents know that. We can see that.

FLVS has made 100 online courses available to public school. But according to the Orlando Sentinel article linked above: “Local school districts at this point are using their own curriculum and content, rather than FLVS, however, as they now educate their students largely via laptops. So far, the virtual school said three charter schools have asked to use its courses.” Again, having a laptop and doing true virtual learning are two completely different things.

What are the solutions? There are several.

  1. A real solution if this goes on long term could be to actually use FLVS online curriculum as it is based for virtual learning. And teachers can use this time right now to be trained for that, if they choose.
  2. No new material. A friend in Colorado has three school aged boys and the memo they are getting from their school district is no new material will be taught, only enrichment and reinforcement of material already covered. Their county’s message is enjoy time together, reconnect, don’t stress and are empowering teachers to focus on their student’s mental health.
  3. I like this guy’s article. Give them all A’s. Dr. Manuel Rustin is a high school teacher and he makes a whole lot of valid arguments, ending by stating: “As a nation we’ve offered trillions to Wall St. and $1,200 checks to individuals to help deal with this crisis. Are students not facing a crisis, too? Give them their checks. And by checks, I mean A’s.” You have to read the whole article, it’s really good.
  4. Isn’t calling this time summer and starting school early an option? I agree that kids shouldn’t go five months without education, but can we start school in July instead of August? Can we have one week off at Christmas instead of two? (Remember when school was 11 months long that one time? And when we couldn’t find toilet paper, but the Department of Education still wanted us to do school?)
  5. Mauren Downey with The Atlanta Journal Constitution makes a great argument in her article linked above and states, “This is not business as usual and it’s unethical to act as if it could be.”

And that is why I (and many others) are so rightfully up in arms about what is being expected of everyone. Again, I am imploring the Florida Department of Education to do the right thing. Show you value your teachers, show you value your administrators, show you value your students, and show you value parents, along with everyone’s mental health and please stop this madness. Pay the teachers, give everyone a break and instead of winging it, create an actual plan or strategy.

We do not have to do what we’ve always done in education for the last 100 years given what’s going on globally. Real parents are experiencing real problems that rub up against this societal expectation – is anyone thinking about what’s truly appropriate or possible for families? Can we realize that EVERYONE will be starting back at a deficit? Can teachers work within that in a new school year?

In speaking with Tracy Weiss, a life coach and licensed mental health counselor, the conversations in her field surrounding the schooling issue are completely different. “It’s funny because I was just having conversations with people in my field about how taking school off the table is the blessing today’s kids need. They’re so anxious and detached because they’re so busy and expectations are so high. They don’t know how to just “be”, play, explore, self-soothe, problem solve and connect.”

These arguments are valid. What has been forced on to families is full-time public school, at home, during a pandemic. This has been made mandatory, for letter grades, for pass/fail grades and it is not OK. This is not OK.

I’ve really put myself out there with my posts and appearing on the news. As my one good friend who’s an elementary school teacher said, “You’re making friends at every turn, huh?” Probably not. But if you know our family’s story, you know all of the hardships we have endured, that I have always fought for my child, for equal access, for what is true and right. And so I find myself fighting again. God really gave me this personality that physically compels me to do things to impact change and to make people think and to make them notice, and they have noticed.

Thankfully my child’s school and district have noticed, and a more manageable, individualized learning plan is being worked on to best support my child and our family with learning goals that are realistic during this global crisis. But, I know so many others that are continuing to struggle, and that’s why I’m still writing. I am writing to be a voice for those who feel they don’t have a voice or feel their voice doesn’t matter or aren’t sure how to best advocate in this situation because their life has been completely altered in every single way. I’m writing for those who have a fear of being shamed because they are afraid to admit this is too much. I’m writing for those who feel the weight of having another area of their life fall apart and don’t know what to do.

Without being vocal you may not learn what is actually required for your child and your unique situation…and I know that’s the source of frustration for a lot of parents.

So, I’m here to help empower you.

Parents: If you want to try and make a change, this letter has been working for several people who have sent it.

Dear [your county superintendent/principal/teacher or whoever you feel would help address your individual situation best],

I am in agreement with this open letter to the department of education [link here].
My personal challenges are: 
1. 
2. 
3. 

I implore you to please reconsider what is required from students, teachers and parents at this time. Keep in mind the enormous mental toll that everyone is already encountering and add to it that assignments are due and grades, tests and quizzes are required. The expectations upon students hasn’t changed but their environment, their educator and the platform has.

Sincerely,

Your Name

Link to every superintendent in Florida by county with email addresses.

STATE CONTACTS:
FL Dept. of Education Commissioner Richard Corcoran
Email: Commissioner@fldoe.org

Governor Ron Desantis
Email: GovernorRon.Desantis@eog.myflorida.com